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Reminder that I don't see new followers because I don't care about the numbers and I don't follow back just because. Interact with me, then I'll follow.

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I thought it would be fun to read out my toot so you can read my high quality content in my horrifying accent.
Also weird that I faceplanted my phone and the screen is not completely black.

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The bots have new schedules btw.

Mon, Wed, Fri
@beardbot
@AndAllTheRest
@batbot
@cephalobot
@creepycrawlies
@flamingo

Tue, Thu, Sat
@Breadbot
@Bearbot
@birb
@fishies
@FrogsNShit
@parrot

And Sunday is a rest day just like the Lord intended!*

*there's an uneven number of days in a week, soooo...

Pinned toot
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'tis I, the 736th incarnation of Julia.
Stop complaining about me changing accounts so much, no one is making you follow me.
Okay, got that out of the way, now another
I am:
- 31
- angry 24/7
- boring
- mentally ill :fingerguns:
I like:
-
- beards
- live-tooting terrible erotic novels
- boosting the shit out of your beautiful faces
I dislike:
- dolphins (fuck those guys)
- sea lions (both the animals and the dudes sliding into my notifications)
- people using that -> ^^

Me, three hours ago: I'm going to sleep at a reasonable hour.
Me now: CLICK CLICK CLACK, DICKING AROUND ON MASTODON :love_potion:

It's way too late for me to be awake but I'm also not tired...
I should sleep, though, so good night, friends. And foes!

a handy guide to individual action Show more

The BT ordered some fun stuff today and I'm very excited about it. :bloblewd:

:clam: Maxima Clam (Tridacna maxima)
❕ Reproduction is stimulated by the lunar cycle, the time of day, and the presence of other eggs and sperm in the water. Hermaphroditic clams release their sperm first followed later by their eggs, thereby avoiding self-fertilisation.
πŸ“· flickr.com/photos/makebubblz/
#bot

TMI Tuesday, AMA Show more

LB: Well, that's convenient. That means my hair color is fresh again.

:magic_wand_left: :blobcatpurplegem:
~POOF~

Congratulations, you now are your profile image.

Sorry I don't make the rules. Everyone on fedi looks like their profile image now

[To the tune of Shots]
🎢 BUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTSBUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTS 🎢
youtube.com/watch?v=HWs5Y6ldQ6

The first day of the week is Monday, you American weirdos!

I just found out it's the law to boost @Thomas' selfies, so y'all need to do that. I don't want you to get in trouble!

Good Morning Selfie, Still Suited Show more

🐦 Hamerkop (Scopus umbretta)
❕According to an old Malagasy belief, anyone who destroys its nest will get leprosy, and a Malagasy poem calls it an "evil bird".
πŸ“· flickr.com/photos/lreinds/
#birds #birbs #bot

Berlin, Suche nach Psychiater_in, please boost, #twx Show more

I think that if someone politely asks you a sincere question, you should give a straight answer, not make fun of them or otherwise make their ignorance the basis of a joke.

Turns out keeping someone awake until 4am also means they won't wake up at the usual 5/6am. :oh_no:

Okay, there are over a hundred posts queued for the twelve bots. I'm not going to edit all of them but new posts I queue will be CW'd. Maybe on a motivated day I'll edit the already queued ones but... meh.

Does anyone know of a Snapchat alternative (= app where you can send stuff that is gone "forever" after viewing) that lets you send videos that are over a minute long?

Show more

Bare-Faced Go-Away-Bird's choices:

Harpy Life

Welcome to Harpy Life. A femme friendly instance for all genders and identities.