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Hello and welcome, newbies!
If you look at the toot I'm replying to with this one you can see my introduction in video form but if you (understandably) don't want to see, here's a summary.
I am:
- 31
- angry 24/7
- boring
- mentally ill :fingerguns:
I like:
- beards
- live-tooting terrible erotic novels
- boosting the shit out of your beautiful faces
I dislike:
- dolphins (fuck those guys)
- sea lions (both the animals and the dudes sliding into my notifications)

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Reminder that I don't see new followers because I don't care about the numbers and I don't follow back just because. Interact with me, then I'll follow.

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mental health (~) Show more

Making a bad post then naively staring the notifications tab, waiting for validation that will never arrive

I'm useless as a babysitter. I don't do babytalk so I've already lost.

Everything I wear screams "I'm an adult who definitely cares about fashion".

WELP! Met my nephew for the first time on Christmas, the second time yesterday, third time today and tomorrow I have to babysit. THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY! I'M NOT A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, AAAAAH!

Colon and Wee Mad Arthur being kind of BFFs is adorable.

Fedilab didn't let be upload it so here's a windy selfie of me on a quest to get some pictures.

Ah yes, the part of the visit when everyone is asleep and I'm sitting alone has begun again.
That's not great because that reminds me what I did the last time that happened. May Sam Vines distract me from annoying thoughts.
Also: what's up? I haven't kept up with Mastodon since yesterday morning. Did anything interesting happen? Is everyone doing okay?

We had to take a break, the baby is here again.

We're now going to break down the fence. Oskar will be in charge of the chainsaw.

I really wish we could add CWs to boosts but until we can, we need to be mindful of what we're sharing. Stuff like politics and climate change needs a CW.

You can use your own CW to share the link to a toot or an article or whatever rather than boost an unCWed thing. I know it's a little more effort than just smashing that boost button but it's still not a lot and it seems worth it for people's mental health. Thanks.

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Sad-Faced Go-Away-Bird's choices:

Harpy Life

Welcome to Harpy Life. A femme friendly instance for all genders and identities.