Pinned toot
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Hello and welcome, newbies!
If you look at the toot I'm replying to with this one you can see my introduction in video form but if you (understandably) don't want to see, here's a summary.
I am:
- 31
- angry 24/7
- boring
- mentally ill :fingerguns:
I like:
- beards
- live-tooting terrible erotic novels
- boosting the shit out of your beautiful faces
I dislike:
- dolphins (fuck those guys)
- sea lions (both the animals and the dudes sliding into my notifications)

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Reminder that I don't see new followers because I don't care about the numbers and I don't follow back just because. Interact with me, then I'll follow.

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I'm awake and bae isn't and it's cruel and unfair.

The more Mastodon servers there, are, the better. The more spread out people are across them, the more the network is resilient to various failure modes.

The basic premise of Mastodon is that you follow your friends from different servers! So go forth, and explore the fediverse ☺️

no fact, just wanted to show you this hippo biting another hippo on the ass

This is a statue located in Berlin, entitled "Politicians Discussing Global Warming."

if you are leaving mastodon dot social that is a valid choice, and you should feel proud at your choice to branch out in search of a community that better suits your needs and interests. You also shouldn't feel any shame about bugging your mofos multiple times as you hop between alts and get settled in. This is a natural and important step for you in the fediverse

i am still laughing at you though

meta shit Show more

hornt Show more

Alright Folks, it's time for another Masto-Sourced Playlist, It's The One About The Holidays!

I lost track of how many people submitted songs, but there's just over 30 *mostly* Non-Trad holiday songs, covering a wide range of... emotions?
(Also, someone submitted a 20 minute Miles Davis song, but I took it out because it came on when I was in the shower and unable to skip. That's playlist terrorism.)

This is all very random and absurd and I'm neither following nor enjoying it.

i'm really close to filtering the word "nsfw" because it is an absolutely useless warning that tells you nothing about the actual content

istg I'm sick of seeing un-CW'd and improperly CW'd porn on public timelines

does it have nudity? say "nudity" in the CW without gendering the person's body

does it have genitals? say genitals in the CW without gendering body parts

is it a dick pic? say dick pic.

is it porn? say porn ffs

"nsfw" is the literal most useless warning

Sunday (and every day) reminder! It's okay to rest!

uterus-ly problems Show more

meanwhile, on reddit, the straights are definitely ah, they're not doing so hot

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Bare-Faced Go-Away-Bird's choices:

Harpy Life

Welcome to Harpy Life. A femme friendly instance for all genders and identities.